1. |
Better Off Dead
04:55
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Today I wanna drink till I'm dead
I wanna see what's at the other end
I wanna feel all the thoughts in my head
Disappear from my mind as I lay in my bed
Today I wanna drink till I'm dead
I feel about the same every damn day
No thoughts but anxiety blocking my way
I'd speak but I dont know what lines to say
Cause it feels like lifes one poor written play
I wanna drink till I'm dead today
I wanna know what it's like to feel alive
A feeling of joy I see in peoples everyday life
I've done everything I can take my advice
So let's cross our hearts and hope to die
Cause I'm sick of making this time worth living every night
Today I wanna smoke till I die
I wanna make myself say good bye
I wanna make you think about the lies
Cough on the smoke until our chest gets tight
Today I wanna smoke till I die
I wanna know what it's like to feel alive
A feeling of joy I see in peoples everyday life
I've done everything I can take my advice
So let's cross our hearts and hope to die
Cause I'm sick of making this time worth living every night
Im better off dead, I'm better off dead
I'm feeling better than being alive instead
I'm better off dead, I'm better off dead
My lifes gone to shit dressed here in red
I'm better off dead, I'm better off...
I wanna know what it's like to feel alive
A feeling of joy I see in peoples everyday life
I've done everything I can take my advice
So let's cross our hearts and hope to die
Cause I'm sick of making this time worth living every night
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2. |
Lost His Mind
04:35
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Thoughts are chanced with booze and hate
I'm crying for help but it feels too late
I can't get a single friend to see me tonight
I know that they're all busy and thats alright
I can't keep anything down without a fight
I can't keep answering the same questions
Tell you I'm fine when im not just attention
I don't think I've ever felt this vulnerable
I feel so ashamed of my life it's terrible
Back to the same place now I just complain
All these different feelings Ive gone insane
I'm becoming complacent in being unhappy
Its terrifying and I want to change everything about me
No I'm not sure that I'm cut out for this
This whole livin thing is beatin me senseless
If theres any life left in me its been hidding
And I'm still counting before I start seeking
Cause I'm afraid of what I might find
The shell of a man that completely lost his mind
This isn't what I wanted for you or myself
I was suppose to be stronger than this
Who knew the hardest thing to maintain
Was keeping up with my own mental health
I've done everything I can to fix it
Eating right vitamin d and going to therapy
But no matter what I still feel like shit
No I'm not sure that I'm cut out for this
This whole livin thing is beatin me senseless
If theres any life left in me its been hidding
And I'm still counting before I start seeking
Cause I'm afraid of what I might find
The shell of a man that completely lost his mind
Cause I'm afraid of what I might find
The shell of a man that completely lost his mind
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3. |
Breathing Vegetables
03:40
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I got more beer in the fridge than vegetables Half my time is spent just feeling terrible Constantly worrying about myself
and my failing mental health
It's all over my face and I'm getting sick of it
If there is a god he must have step out for a cigarette
My mind is prison and I'm not proud of it
Keeps me afraid I don't like the sound of it
Have you ever been too afraid to go to sleep
Or terrified of the shit you might dream
Its really not as bad as it might seem
Because its worse than anything you could believe
Ive gone insane baby
I feel like im just crazy lately
Just when I start feeling happy
My mind insists theres something wrong with me
Sorry if I seem kinda tense
My chest is tight and nothing making sense
It's really just my nervous system
But I want to smash this one as much as the rest if them
I tried everything I could to make it go away just like my shadow its with me every day
Taking more pills just to keep it at bay
Doesn't really matter cause its here to stay
Eating better incase that could work
I drink a lot of water too that's for sure
Either way it's there knocking on my door
If your brain is your enemy what's it good for
Meditation after I wake up in the morning
Practice my breathing now the rains pouring
It might just drown me now before I turn 40
Its lead me to believe no one would come looking for me
Ive gone insane baby
I feel like im just crazy lately
Just when I start feeling happy
My mind insists theres something wrong with me
Sorry if I seem kinda tense
My chest is tight and nothing making sense
It's really just my nervous system
But I want to smash this one as much as the rest if them
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4. |
Let Me Choke
04:09
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I have a feeling
and its boiling in my stomach
Its Pumping through my veins
Like blood filled buckets
And I'm trying not to notice it
And I'm trying not to cry
But everytime I get here
It gets harder not to try, no more*
It was a rainy day on a saturday
The ground was muddy and green
I saw you in the distanc*
I thought it was a dream
But now all we have are nightmares*
With our mental health so obscene
It tears apart our happiness*
And it makes me feel like I'm crazy
So dry up all the water so I can't drowned
Cause I'll sink myself to the bottom
And feel my body float down
Leme choke on the water spit out my breath
Cause there not much I want anymore
Except maybe death
So sing me a song of the older world
The one I just left*
I dont understand
Cause I cant believe my emotions
My happiness doesn't even exist*
Its a game I play just go through the motions
Runnin out of ideas but I cant stop my brain
Cause it's always telling me stories
Ones I dont want to think*
So dry up all the water so I can't drowned
Cause I'll sink myself to the bottom
And feel my body float down
Leme choke on the water spit out my breath
Cause there not much I want anymore
Except maybe death
So sing me a song of the older world
The one I just left*
Let's move on from all these memories
My anxiety wont quit or im forced to believe
When nothings makin sense Ill try to breath
And after all it's worth I'll still have me
But I can't stand myself so i'l watch me leave
So dry up all the water so I can't drowned
Cause I'll sink myself to the bottom
And feel my body float down
Leme choke on the water spit out my breath
Cause there not much I want anymore
Except maybe death
So sing me a song of the older world
The one I just left*
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5. |
I Feel Like
03:49
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I can't decide really what i hate most
My life, myself or do I just hate them both
Theres a fine line between the two
So lets explain something we already knew
I wish I would have made a mess on the wall
Opened my mind as my thoughts made last call
These feelings and emotions are gonna kill me
I don't have much room for them I'm so empty
I feel like taking another line
I feel like ruining my mind
I feel like drinking till im blind
I feel like running out of time
I feel like doing rails again
I feel like taking it to and end
I feel like crushing down some pills
I feel like drowning out my feels
I should have buried a knife in my head
Before I ever let myself leave my bed
Anytime I make myself leave or go outside
I start to regret it and tell myself I'm fine
Cause I'm tired of this mess oh shit I call a life
I take a pill everyday for anxiety so can pretend I'm fine
I feel like taking another line
I feel like ruining my mind
I feel like drinking till im blind
I feel like running out of time
I feel like doing rails again
I feel like taking it to and end
I feel like crushing down some pills
I feel like drowning out my feels
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6. |
I'm Okay
04:48
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I've been listening to sad songs everyday
It doesnt help me but Im stuck in my ways
I could probably try to act better I know
But theres nothin I feel Ive lost my own glow
I've been trying to write more lyrics & songs
But all it does is make this like a prologue
I'm trying my best to not hide in my room
But when I leave things just remind me of you
I'm lost and I can't seem find my way
I've felt like shit almost every single day
Where is the truth hidden behind my mask
The one that hides me from everything I lack
My face has certainly lost all its charm
And my grin has surely fallen apart
All I have left is the useless beating heart
So we'll take it out and I'll ask for a new start
Cause I'm broken and my lifes just falling apart
Cause I'm ok I just wish I was buried alive
Or got in a car wreck 5 minutes into a drive
Trapped underwater till I cant breath nomore, hold myself high so I cant touch the floor, drink enough booze till my body is sore, in a the hospital bed I cant take it no more, or maybe swallow the barrel of a gun,
I dont care as long as it gets the job done, but I'm ok
Cause I'm ok and I'm fine
I'm running out of time
I can't recall when I last felt this alone
I spend too much time looking at my phone
Wasting my hours until I start to feel numb
I'll drink when I'm awake
Cause my dreams arent fun
I've been trying hard to get out in the sun
Vit all the light shines on me and I feel so damn dumb
Cause I'm ok I just wish I was buried alive
Or got in a car wreck 5 minutes into a drive
Trapped underwater till I cant breath nomore, hold myself high so I cant touch the floor, drink enough booze till my body is sore, in a the hospital bed I cant take it no more, or maybe swallow the barrel of a gun,
I dont care as long as it gets the job done, but I'm ok
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Pastor Daddy Dallas, Texas
Singer-Song writer of acoustic emo jams about mental illness, suicide, and addiction. Music by the folk punk Artist Dalton Podunk of Podunk Parliament and Shooting Tsars.
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